Never Know

I have realized that it is impossible to think about anything but one's self, one's immediate surroundings, those one cares about, and one's current concerns. I'm not trying to say that every person, everywhere, is selfish or self-obsessed. I simply mean that no matter how hard anyone tries, there are some things that one cannot fathom unless it is experienced firsthand.

I think this condition can be summarized in the phrase "out of sight, out of mind." It is very, very easy to forget or ignore those things which are not directly in front of you or directly relating to your own life's course. A general example of this is war. I have never been in a war. There has never been a war that threatened my own life and my own country in my lifetime. No one I have personally known has ever died in a war. Both my grandfathers were in wars, as well as my grandfather-in-law, but I can't possibly know what war was like from hearing their stories. It is impossible.

I felt, when I was younger, that when I learned about the Holocaust that I had wrapped my mind around it fully. I understood the suffering and the persecution and the evil. It wasn't until I was reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close that I realized I have no clue whatsoever. Foer writes about a character that lives through the Dresden bombings. His description of that event, actually living in it, gave me a whole new perspective. Also, Foer's writing about the effect of 9/11 on a little boy was equally as devastating--not only because of how terribly sad it was, but because of how incredibly eye-opening it was. I knew nothing. I could never know anything unless I lived it.

The recent events in Japan have only reaffirmed my belief that unless you're there, you can never know what it was like, how horrible it was to live through, and how sad it is to be a part of. I have read the news, I have watched video footage, looked at pictures and tried to empathize..tried to understand what all of it must be like and I just can't. Nothing I imagine will ever come close because I have been lucky enough to not be involved in such an event.

What's even more depressing is that while all of this is happening in Japan, I can't help but still be concerned with my own life, its own mini-dramas and its own shortcomings. How can I be so upset about being defriended on Facebook or whine about missing my favorite foods from the States when there are people dying and suffering? How can I just not take that into account and get over my life's small inconveniences?

The only answer I can come up with is that it's just not possible. We are shackled to our subjectivity. We are limited by our own perceptions and happenings and nothing except firsthand experience with tragedy can change that. While I wish that I could understand more greatly the suffering of others, and feel a little more aware about what they are going through, I still hope that I never have to face anything like it. And perhaps the knowledge that what they are going through is so unbelievably tragic and heartbreaking that I would never want to live through it is the only true amount of understanding and compassion I can offer.