St. Louis!

So as part of Mark and I's efforts to combat quarter-life-crisis-ness, and the general malaise brought about by the cultural void that is Carbondale, Illinois, we decided to make a day trip to St. Louis. Although we were both dreading the 4 hour round-trip drive, it turned out to be well worth it. LIKE REALLY WORTH IT.

We started our day in St. Louis at Iron Barley, a restaurant in south St. Louis that we heard about from the lovely Adam Richman on Man vs. Food. See this post if you need to be reminded how much we love Adam and his fine television program.

We walked in and immediately loved the atmosphere and the selection of beers on tap. We found ourselves a cozy two-person booth and prepared ourselves for the eating experience that awaited us. We knew we were going to love it when we saw this omen sitting directly on the wall to the left of Mark's head.

My apologies for the crumby quality. I only had my cellular device and 

I think it has a whopping 2 megapixel camera. 

It's Adam with the owners of Iron Barley. He wrote:

"Absolutely one of the best restaurants in the USA."

With Adam's blessing we ordered our food and let's just say that although we had high expectations, the food went above and beyond. I ordered the "Ballistic Elvis" which is (prepare yourself): strawberry preserves, cheddar cheese, peanut butter, banana, crushed red pepper and BACON between two slices of texas toast. It was the most intense sandwich (or sammiche, as Iron Barley calls 'em) that I've ever had and it was phenomenal. Mark got oak-roasted pork served with toasted barley. It was heavenly. We got, to share, the Monte Cristo dog as well because Adam spoke its praises on the episode we saw. We were not let down by these two hot dogs, served open-faced on buns smeared with strawberry preserves and covered with swiss cheese. We washed it all down with 6th Row Brewery's Strong Porter. If that paragraph above isn't food porn, I just don't know what is.

After lunch--the leftovers of which became dinner as well--we headed to the City Museum. I had heard wonderful things about this museum from numerous people and thought that Mark and I should check it out before we left the midwest. When we pulled up, we knew we were in for a treat:

 The parking lot and outside of the museum. This is not just a crazy facade to 
a museum, but a jungle gym as well. AMAZING.

The highlights of this fine establishment were (in no particular order):

• 10-story slide
• Man-made caves and caverns that adults are allowed to crawl and play in
• Werlitzer organ accompanying us on our trek to the top of the 10-story slide
• Old school photo booth where Mark and I got cutesy couply pictures
• WORLD'S LARGEST PENCIL
• 3-story slide
• Aquarium where Mark fell in love with an armadillo
• "Baleout"--a vintage clothing and accessories store (yes, inside the museum) where Mark got a new flannel and vest and I got a lovely sweater
• The crazy jungle gym

Also, as we were about to leave, we thought of having a beer at one of the many snackeries in the joint (all of which served alcohol...insane, right?) but we were met with a daunting crowd of Santas. Yes, Santas. We assumed they were having a Christmas party and instead of trying to bob and weave through 30 Clause's, we decided to walk down St. Louis' Washington Street to see if we could find a cool pub.

Not only did we find a cool pub, The Dubliner,  but along the way we found a hat-erie (aka--a store devoted to hats) where we tried on some fantastic styles, and we found out why the Santas had left their Christmas party at the City Museum and were not following us down the street. They were part of a yearly tradition in STL and other major cities entitled SANTARCHY. There was "Mad Santa", "Tranny Santa", "Super Clause" and many others that made our time at the Dubliner very entertaining. After a pint of Magner's with black currant (me) and a pint of Guinness (Mark), we decided to head home. Along the way we stopped at the Gelateria--where one of friends formerly worked--and got some lovely hot beverages (Mark: Peppermint Bark Mocha, Me: Mocha Bianca) to keep our cold selves warm on the way back to the car.

All in all, one of the best days I've had in a while and one of the best daytrips of all time!


Need more proof? Well I shall leave you with this:

Much to say...

No motivation to say it...


Perhaps tomorrow...

The Title of This Post: "I Don't Wanna"

Subtitle: Review of The Passage, chapters inconsequential-trivial

So Parker, up until now, has been the voice of pessimism regarding Mr. Cronin's opus. I have now realized that pessimism is sometimes reason's first cousin--and the one you really like, not the one you hate. In normal-people-terms? This book sucks.

Again, we are only up to Chapter 20 and this book has a million so it could improve, but realistically? I finally got invested in two of the characters and then Chapter 16 rolls around and we change point of view, location and time frame. Poof! Those two characters are gone and we have a new one--one that is exactly how Parker described the majority of Cronin's characters: STUPID! I would be down for a change in pace and perspective if I hadn't expended all my energy getting into the original point of view, location(s) and time frame. Bottom line: WTF?!

Here's what Parker had to say (I'm putting her whole email commentary here because both of our reviews have gotten quite pithy):

At some point maybe a person should give up.

But that is not me. I persevere.

Well, first I leave my kindle in the bottom of my bag. Not even touching it to read something else because of my guilt. Then the battery dies and I use that as an excuse for a while before I admit to being a total pussy.

"YOU GOT THROUGH THINGS FALL APART, YOU CAN DO THIS PARKER!"

Right.

So.. finally something happens. But could it be any more boring? I have no idea what page the break out finally occurs on (b/c I have a kindle) but I imagine its page 100 or so. For 100 pages I've been telling myself, “they are going to break out”. By the time it happens, I don't even CARE anymore. I've been reading ahead and reading reviews and the virals/glowsticks/incrediblyunhotvampires are supposed to have something that remains of themselves inside. Certain qualities are enhanced (Babcock's constant gibbering) while others are abandoned but some sort of identity remains within. The body and brain are hijacked by a virus. THE SOUL REMAINS. *vomit*

Yet in the break out none of this is even alluded to. Does Anthony attempt to slowly think about the situation? Does he realize that eating people is bad mmkay? No. He flies/jumps around like a frog on speed and eats them. BAM. Your head taste of ideas! YUMMY. SWOOSH. Your arm is a twizzler of fun! THWAP. Your hip implant has become stuck in my teeth. Do you have any floss?

But let’s talk about the worst part of all of this. Good ole Little Miss Lacey-the-Nun appears on top of the government fortified and protected mountain base. How did she get here? She walked. How did she know where to go? SHE JUST DID.

What?

This part is TOTALLY GLOSSED. (I’m going to paraphrase this because I can’t be bothered to pick up my kindle and scroll thru tiny screens) “I followed my feet.” (pssst, Rachel.. that’s from A Knight’s Tale) ((You’re right self, that is much too good for Cronin to have come up with)) How about, “Something told me where to go.” Fuck it. Whatever. So the nun had a PTSD event in a zoo. Then she got up, and decided to stalk the little girl by wandering around the HUGE expanse that is America until she just happened to arrive at the base. Maybe she has special powers and this will be explained.

Oh.. what Mr Cronin? She appeared, got shot at and miraculously missed, only to do nothing but run around like as ass, jump into AND THEN IMMEDIATELY OUT OF a car and then eaten by Anthony?

THEN WHY THE FUCK DID THE CHARACTER EVEN SHOW UP? (heaving ranty breaths…)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh.. because you needed a person on the other side of the grate to help Mr. Sadmcsadpants hoist Amy to freedom? But.. Mr. Sleepswithcollegegirls was totally on that. Plus he already had a plausible reason for being at the base BEING DETAINED ALONG WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS. Oh.. but he gets eaten too. Fine. Fuck. You . That still doesn’t make any sense. Why do you need another random character to show up to help? Because you just free wrote this shit without outlining anything? Fine.  Kill the nun. Kill the promiscuous partner. Now what?

Well.. now that we’ve escaped with a sweet ride and all the glowsticks have eaten everyone and escaped into the treetops like rabid gibbons lets go camping.

HAHA.. WHAT?

So then I read about a million pages of camping. In a cabin. Amy has some sort of mental connection with the vamps. She can repel or attract them.  Blah blah blah.. a trillion pages later someone lets off a nuclear bomb nearby. The camping continues. Mr. Sadmcsadpants gets radiation poisoning and dies.

HURRAY. That was a nice story. But the book is only 25% done. Joy.

Flash forward 100 years . I’m suddenly back in Myst and I’m reading a journal by someone named Auntie. She tells us of her escape from Philly as a small girl. She meets up with her cousin. They take trains with other refugee children West. Most don’t make it. They get to quarantine/military base somewhere in the desert. They begin a colony under a bubble of light. BLAH FUGGITY BLAH. MADMAX. BLAH BLAH. WATERWORLD. BLAAHHHHHH RESIDENT EVIL. BLAH.

Then we go back in time a few years and we get a whole new batch of characters with very little education who have lived in the little isolated compound for 3 or 4 generations. There’s a governing document that lets me know fuck all. When people are taken and turned into vamps they often come back to the compound. There is a tradition of standing vigil on the wall for a relative if t hey are taken and killing them all dead if they show up.

Lemme guess. Amy shows up b/c she is clearly going to be immortal or something but she will not be an adult I promise. She attracts all the vamps. Maybe even babcock or something. Somebody(bodies) get all mindcontrolled to open the doors. EVERYONE IS ON THE RUN THRU THE DESERT. They find other small settlements. They hate each other, no one trusts anyone. Somebody lame pairs up with Amy. They find an antidote for the virals but it probably kills them instead of turning them back human. Maybe it turns them human first then kills them b/c I really want Anthony to show up again to go.. “Don’t know why I ate those people. I just did.”

The End?

Not yet?

FUCK.

So, as you can see, Parker and I are just about finished reading this book and we're not even a quarter done.  Uf. The worst part about this book for me is that not only is the plot sort of boring (and when it's not boring it is completely unbelievable), but it is poorly written in my opinion. Using simple declarative sentences 99% of the time does not an interesting book make. And the characters! WHY DO I CARE?! Oh right, I don't. Parker doesn't. But you know who does?

Terry Brooks.

Who the eff is that? Yeah I didn't know either. But Parker did, so that means he's important to the sci-fi/fantasy genre and nerds everywhere. Wikipedia tells me he is actually very important. Check it out for yourself. Back to the point:

He gave The Passage a thumbs up. Parker was dismayed: "I'm very dissapointed in Terry Brooks. While it is true that Cronin's timeline and large cast are interesting.. thats like saying a cardboard cake looks really good. DOES IT TASTE GOOD TERRY?" Parker is so witty. And right.

If you don't want to write this book off just yet, here is an interview that Parker found between a GoodReads person and Justin Cronin. It's about as enthralling as The Passage. You've been warned.

Alright. Negative blog post complete. Let's hope that next time I update this blog with a review of The Passage I'll have something nice to say. Because, as we all know, if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all.


PS--In case you were wondering, and just to hit it home, Parker's review email was entitled: "The Passage write up. I did this one like a bandaid and just fucking wrote it. Didn't delineate the chapters b/c looking to see what happens in which chapter make me want to die." Yep. That sums it up.

Chronicles of the Whiteboard

If you still weren't sure of my anal-retentiveness, or Mark's adorableness, I present Exhibit B.

Can't wait to get to RI on Monday, or for my next smooch.

In other news, The Passage update forthcoming. I am having a visitor tonight (Yay for Jordan in Illinois!) so expect it tomorrow! Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Amazing

Seriously, can Jimmy Fallon do no wrong?

 

Absolutely brilliant.

Gwyneth Paltrow

I am Gwyneth Paltrow. So why do I hate her so much?

Let me clarify: I am not Gwyneth Paltrow; we just have a lot of things in common. And I don't necessarily hate her. BUT I do find her annoying. But why?

Here are possible reasons why I shouldn't dislike her, but inevitably do:

1. She looks like this:

I do not look like this. This is one thing Gwyneth and I do not have in common.

2. She has been in a number of wonderful films--my favorite being The Royal Tenenbaums. While I have never been in a Wes Anderson film personally, I would love to be. I was once an aspiring actress myself so that aspect of her career is a very small similarity.

3.  If there is one television show I could be on, it would be Glee. And Gwyneth, that skank, is going to be on there this week too! And not only is she going to be on there, she sounds decent and is singing two songs that I think are great. Boooooooo.

4. She is married to this guy:

While Mark looks nothing like Chris Martin, I find him equally as talented. Coldplay is also one of my favorite bands so Gwyneth has the same tastes as I do. She also likes Radiohead. We are one.

5. She runs a blog. I am writing on a blog right now. Her blog is obviously more successful, but I one day aspire to have such a blog...one that offers wonderful tidbits and advice for people's everyday lives.  She is all about living, as evidenced by this blog, and that is my mission in life. To live life to the absolute fullest.

So, again, I ask: Why can I absolutely not stand her? 

Let's just go with the obvious answer and call it a day...

Pure jealousy.

 

Shout-Out for Shout-Out

I get very excited every time I see that myself, my artwork and/or my blog is mentioned on other people's blogs.

This time, I was lucky enough to have one of my pins shared on the blog of the one, the only, Shawn Andrew Mitchell. Mr. Mitchell is a fellow creative writing graduate student with Mark and he will be our future roommate when we relocate to jolly ole Ireland.

I had made a pin for Shawn and the first performance of his comedic/satanic performance group/band: "Really Brutal Death Experience". He proudly displayed his button on his website/blog and I am honored. Here are the two buttons I made for the aforementioned occasion.

 Now owned by Shawn Andrew Mitchell.

 Now owned by Nick Ostdick. (Other half of RBDE.)

And as always, if you feel you cannot live without your own RBDE merchandise, just hit me up. I'm sure we could arrange something...

Self-Promotion: Cloud Button Edition

I have finished the first buttons on my cloud series! Yippee! Wahoo! Hooray!

Here are some images for your viewing pleasure...

If you want to own some or all of these fine buttons, visit my Etsy shop!

Next on the button docket...

Modern Disney Series! Below is a very, very rough beginning to what I think will be a promising series! If you have any ideas of what buttons I should make, leave a comment. I'm always open to suggestions!

The Top 3 Reasons You Should Read This Post...

I was just on Huffington Post (a site I frequent regularly) and I clicked on the Blogs tab. I click on many tabs while at the site--usually Entertainment, Style, Food, Green, Politics, Travel, Health, Art Books--but never "Blogs." The first three entries on this page led me to a great discovery though...

I am more prone to read a blog post, or an article of any kind, if there is some sort countdown or "Top [insert # here]" or "9 Ways to..." and I for some reason believe that this goes for everyone in the world, not just me.

Why else would there be so many Top 10 Lists? Why else would the top 3 blog posts listed on Huffington Post's Blog tab be: "The 10 Worst States for Retirement," "30 Things that Need to Stage a Comeback, Pronto!" and "The Human Brain: 9 of the Most Stunning Images Ever"? Is it the human condition to like things categorized? Is it our inherent and primitive competitive natures that attract us to lists generated by value judgments? Do we just like the finite nature of these articles, these lists? If there are only 30 things that need to stage a comeback then the reader (me) knows that I only have to devote so much of my time to the article and that this person has (or should have) done some outside research to reach this conclusive number of 30. I trust this person. Because of an arbitrary number.

Top 3 Reasons You Should Read This Post:

1. It will BLOW YOUR MIND.

2. I just made an interesting, albeit useless, observation of human nature.

3. I just informed you of 3 different articles on Huffington Post's Blogs tab that you may not have been aware of otherwise.


Explosive, observant, informative. 1, 2, 3.

PREACH!

I will say this once, and only once...

LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.

 (Unless you happen to be Lady Gaga or someone equally famous and known for their sticking it to fashion-norms.)

 It is not okay to subject innocent bystanders to every nook and cranny of your pelvic region. Lock it up. Cover it up.

I feel a button coming on... 

Meet Debbie Downer's Arch-Nemesis: Ursula Upper

After posting "Debbie Downer", I have felt more optimistic, increasingly upbeat.

I have received an outpouring of understanding and agreement from fellow twenty-somethings and, sadly, camaraderie is a great comfort.

Mark and I have also been mutually supportive since naming the beast of quarter-life crisis. I sing him songs, intentionally out-of-tune and extraordinarily loud. He buys me cheese. We poke each other in the belly buttons. We watch "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." I make buttons for him. He edits our grocery list for me:

Bottom line? In order to get through this time of crisis, find people that understand. More importantly, find and surround yourself with people that understand how to dig you out of a rut. My cure: empathy and silliness.While these two things may not be your particular brand of solution, it has done the trick for me.

Also, clouds. Clouds make me happy. Thus, my new series of buttons:

Cloud Series will be available on my Etsy page by the weekend, if you're interested!

Now go and be crisis-free!

Yours, now and forever,

Ursula

Debbie Downer

So I'm usually pretty upbeat on here... or at least I'd like to think so.

The point of Jellyfish Love is to write about things I love, not bitch and moan. Who wants to read a blog filled with complaints and diatribes?! If you wanted that, you'd call a friend or family member or go to a bar and listen to your bar-stool neighbors.

But, I have to talk about something that has been on my mind lately.

Recently, I have been feeling a little lost. I am 24 years old and I haven't the slightest idea what I want to do with myself. I've always considered myself a pretty confident and self-aware person, but due to recent events I am feeling more insecure and unsure than ever before. The smallest confrontation or questioning of my motives/opinions/decisions makes me feel like I am failing...like I have somehow transitioned from a good (who knows what I mean by that...) person into a person not worth a damn.

I thought, until tonight, that I was alone in these feelings; these feelings being loneliness, uncertainty, insecurity, listlessness, and a general feeling of being adrift. But, Mark and I were talking and he started expressing some of the same issues...though manifesting themselves in very different situations. And that's when it hit me...

Quarter-life crisis IS real.

That's right folks. QUARTER. LIFE. CRISIS.

Naturally, after having this revelation, I googled "Quarter Life Crisis." Of course there was a Wikipedia page, which I instinctively went to (as life has taught me that Wikipedia is the source that best sums up complicated--or uncomplicated--ideas/philosophies). Here is what Wikipedia says are the symptoms of quarter-life crisis:

• realizing that the pursuits of one's peers are useless
• confronting their own mortality
• watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
• insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
• insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
• disappointment with one's job
• nostalgia for university, college, high school, middle school or elementary school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends
• financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
• loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than oneself
• frustration with social skills

(Those that are emboldened are the ones that are especially pertinent to me.)

So what's the point in highlighting all these things and expressing how I feel? Well I suppose it's just to put a name to something. Like maybe if I name it, it will give it less power? Or maybe if I can tie myself and my feelings into a greater thing, a thing that is universal, then maybe it will assure me that this is just a phase. One day I will no longer be at the quarter point of my life and therefore this crisis is temporary. Who knows. I sure as hell don't. Let's just hope I get some rest before I reach midlife. I hear that's a doozy too. 

 Unrelated sidenote: I'm watching House and there is such a thing as "Broken Heart Syndrome" and it actually can cause physical reactions--even death. Remind me to remind myself to write about this in the future.

 

A Whole Week!

Eep!

It has been more than a week since I last posted...which is just plain unacceptable.

I spent Sunday-Thursday in my great home state of Rhode Island, visiting friends and family--especially my friend Brendan, who was on leave from Afghanistan.

Since I have to be at work in 30 minutes, I can't do a full-on recap right now, but let's just say it was pretty great to see all my loved ones.

More posting later. I pinky promise.

The Passage: Chapters 4-9

I must begin this entry with a warning:

Do not read this book if you have ever read any fantasy/sci-fi/genre literature ever before.

I say this because I think a severe lack of knowledge in this arena is crucial. Evidence:  I am tolerating this book. Parker, however, is not.

I assume this is how Parker looks while reading The Passage although we are many miles apart:

Blond wig and all...

Now to the specifics, the review, if you will...

[This review will begin as a conversation had between Parker and I. This conversation actually happened (for realz) on Monday, October 18th on the wonder that is Gmail Chat. Prepare yourself for our chat-speak. I say 'haha' a lot. And yes, I actually laugh that much.]

1:30 PM me: i am actually AHEAD of our reading schedule!look at that!haha
 Rachel: damnim pretty behindimma try1:31 PMim slogging thru this guy whos name i cant remember.. the pedophile who watches the batmen
 me: ugh yeahgreyhis story is really not interesting1:32 PM has he puked yet?
 Rachel: none of their storeis are very interestingno me: oh
 Rachel: he's ruminating on his medication
 me: oh yeah..that part was slowi like amythat's about itand i hate richards so much that i enjoy reading the parts about him because it fuels my hate-firehaha
1:33 PM Rachel: who's richards?i .. know none of their names
 me: hahahe is like the head guy at the basereal prickwatches the camera footage...kind of head of operationshaha
 Rachel: right now all the male characters.. are the same person in my head
 me: haha1:34 PM i think wolgast and doyle are unique
 Rachel: i mean they are all the mind numbling dumb southern 45 year old. either military or ex con  me: all the guys at the base merge together thoughhahayeah
 Rachel: i hope something happens soon or im going to be like.. WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
 me: i will say that the book got more interesting after chapter 10
 Rachel: library thing has incredibly mixed reviews

 me: page 183 i remember marking because it was where there was finally a point  {Pause. Let's ruminate on how much I really do say 'haha', made evident by just this small portion of our conversation. Also, we are pausing because this is where Parker and I had a conversational aside on cultural identity, race and music. Yep, we are interested in more than vampires and bad books. This conversation goes from about 1:35pm to 1:41pm. Back to our regularly scheduled program...} 

1:41 PMme: speaking of black people...i like carter too1:42 PM but he's designed for you to pity him and pity can manifest itself as likabilityhaha
1:43 PM Rachel: .. is carter a book character or a real person?   1:44 PMme: bookhaha
 Rachel: jesus.. im sorry. i honestly cant remember any of their namesi want them all to dieso the stupid black ex con as opposed to the stupid white pedophile1:45 PM oh god.. they are victims.. woe
 me: haha they probably will...if that's any consolationthat's why i like 6 year old amybecause under any normal circumstance she would be a victimbut i don't feel that way about her at allno pity or concernand perhaps that's because i know she's going to rise above in some way
 Rachel: i want to know why everyone in this novel has an iq of like.. 12
1:46 PM me: hahapaulson doesn'tthe book actually says 136hahahahaha
 Rachel: is paulson one of the emailers?
 me: paulson is probably just a minor character to you right now
 Rachel: we're supposed to take it for granted that he is smart b/c he can email
 me: he gets slightly biggerhaha
1:47 PM Rachel: i feel like this book got really good reviews bc when you read it you feel like the author is making profound grapes of wrath style commentary about american society
but you cant really figure it out so you say "oh it was brilliant"
whereas i feel like.. this book blows
and is boring
and not inventive at all
not even a little
 me: right now it is a pretty bad book...but i'm thinking that because it's so long, it's just taking longer to get to the point
 Rachel: that.. is not an excuse
 me: hahano it's not
 Rachel: go ask mark. he'll say that is no excuse.
 me: but it's my hopeful way of saying "please get better"
 Rachel: oh its long.. that means i have more room at the beginning to suck?now ay
 me: yeah. right now it does blow1:48 PM although i will say that i have definitely noticed i've picked up speed reading post page 150so maybe that's a sign
 Rachel: i mean.. people criticise tolkien (ok so he's a mastaer but just for comparisons sake.. which is prolly totally unfair) for his story being too much beginningbut ya kno wwhat.. the beginning is awesome. and who cares if its too long in the graph of the story
 me: well and he is telling the story of a whole culture, a whole historyhe has to set it up
 Rachel: ok
 me: and when its a large subject, it takes a while1:49 PM so tolkien has every reason behind a long beginning
 Rachel: good point, but if uh.. whatshisname who wrote the passage... is NOT world building as you claimwhy do i have a whole chapter devoted to telling me how highways cross?i mean jesus
 me: hahaha
 Rachel: wtf was with that chapter
 me: yeah1:50 PM like i said...the only possible explanation is that because he wrote such a long book, he felt the need to have a long beginning??hahaagain, this is what i'm hoping
 Rachel: I GET IT YOU GUYS ARE FLYING UNDER THE RADAR.. i dont particularly care how you plan your trip. it is IRRELEVANT DATA
 me: because the next 500 pages are going to be rough if they play out like the first 150
 Rachel: it doesnt help world building b/c youre in this world just in the future a little. so i get where arkansas is in relationship to mississippiits not like they moved
1:51 PM me: haha
 Rachel: at least you have pages. my kindle just tells me percentage read
 me: yeah. the only thing i can think of is that it's his fiction, not fantasy, background...and typically fiction has a lot more description?
 Rachel: and it is a piddly little percentage
 me: hahaha
  yeah
 Rachel: bullshitfantasy is nothing but description. tolkien spent 2 pages ON A LEAF
1:52 PM me: hahahabut that leaf mattered?
 Rachel: noit didntat allpeople hate that damn leaf
 me: haha so tolkien's leaf is to cronin's routeshaha
1:53 PM Rachel: not really. i dont find cronin to be a particularly beautiful or talented writerhe lists things
 me: yeah. and he has very cliche statements
 Rachel: and his author's voice is like.. flowers for algernon when he's retarded again
 me: that has been bothering me most
 Rachel: honestly its like.. old and tired
 me: is that when he has the opportunity to use a cliche-supposed-to-be-deep-and-beautiful, he takes it
1:54 PM Rachel: is anything beautiful yet? mostly its like.. brown and grey and roads and stickynessi feel like all thes urfaces in his world are sticky
 me: i think i'm just going to post this conversation for my blog posthaha
 Rachel: and everyone is stupid
 me: um. have you gotten to the zoo yet?
 Rachel: ive gotten to the nun thinking about eh zoo and how its wrong bu tshes going to take amy there anyways
 me: oh man1:55 PM yeah...the action is coming slowly but surely
 Rachel: EVERYONE IS SO STUPID.. im like ok awesome your a nun. you do nothing bu treadoh wait.. youre retarded
 me: no she's notyou find out more about her too
 Rachel: der.. why did i lie? derrrr will amy like the zoo? derrrrr
 me: it gets better (not in the gay way)   {Sidenote: See this video if you have no idea what I'm talking about when I say 'it gets better (not in the gay way). Or this video. Or this video. Heck. Google "It Gets Better." Voila!} haha1:56 PM i think/hope that cronin's descriptive ways is just to build layers
 Rachel: layers of dirty scotch tape?
 me: because now knowing what happens with lacey, i can see why he had that whole internal struggle about taking her to the zoohaha
 Rachel: i dont know what happens to laceyomg.. please tell me she is eaten by a rampaging lion
 me: right
 Rachel: trampled by an angry elephant
1:57 PM me: close...hahai'm telling you...it gets better
 Rachel: DOES HER FACE GET EATEN OFF BY A VAMPIRE BAT
 me: HAHAi think you have to wait til at least page 200 for that to happenactuallyless than thatchapter 11haha
 Rachel: i think im on.. chapte 5or 6
 me: not lacey thoughi'm telling you1:58 PM it picks up the pacenot a lot, but enoughand then chapter 10 it picks it up a little morei'm not writing off this book entirely yet
 Rachel: hilarious. im so tolerant of non paced movies. i love me some period british tv. sitting in chairs. staring.. not talking. sighingbut this book is intolerableits like being at teh dmvthis book is like.. if the dmv wrote a vampire noveland if the dmv were an entity that could write
1:59 PM me: hahait gets betterhahayou are in the thick of the dmv right nowbut come chapter 7 or so, you'll be outside, with your renewed license2:00 PM and then chapter 10 you'll be getting into your car when all of a sudden you realize you don't want your car, you must steal another one
 Rachel: lol i hope so
 me: it picks up the pacehaha
 Rachel: and with that.. my lunch is over. back to the workity grind
 me: hahaawesomekeep reading. and if you can get your notes to me by wednesday night, then i'll post before heading to Chi-town!woohoo!
2:01 PM Rachel: no problem. you'll have them.

 me: woohoo!  cya later alligator  

So I don't blame you, any of you, if you don't want to read all that (although it's pretty entertaining so I recommend it), so here is the Cliffsnotes version:

CLIFFSNOTES: The Passage Review by Keough and Parker

I say "So I am already past Chapter 9."

Parker says "Really? Because this sucks so hard I can't help but fall asleep or want to die and I'm only on Chapter 6."

[Insert aside.]

I say "Yeah. I understand. But as a person who has gone ahead a little bit, it gets better." (Insert links to videos relating to the recently started "It Gets Better" phenomenon.)

Parker says "REALLY?! I don't believe you. [Insert comparison to Tolkien's leaf. If you want to know what this is all about then you have to read the real-deal. There are no shortcuts to the good stuff in life.] 

I say "Well, you don't have to believe me, but I'm still hopeful."

Parker says the *QUOTE OF THE CONVERSATION* or "This book is like if the dmv wrote a book about vampires."

I say awesomely brilliant things about how she's right but that she will soon be less right (if only a teensy, tiny bit.)

We end on a draw. Me thinking she is probably right--This books sucks and will continue to suck--and Parker thinking about lunch.

The End.

(Also, as always, for Parker's more formulated comments on Chapters 4-9, please see "The Passage" tab at the top of the page.)

The Passage: The Next Installment

...will be posted tomorrow. Sorry Parker.

Since I am short on time (work and such) and have been in Chicago all weekend, I have neglected my Passage update. I pinky promise that you awaiting readers out there will have your next installment tomorrow.

Until then, a preview of another project I'm working on...

Chicago: A Review

Mark and I have returned from the great windy city and it was AMAZING.

Instead of giving an hour-by-hour playback of our 3-day adventure, I have picked the 5 highlights of the trip (although I'm sure I could list 20). 

1. Our first-night dinner. Mark and I didn't really know where to go our first night, but we knew we wanted to hit up a pub, since we don't really have any here in Carbondale. Thankfully, our hostel had a list of bars/pubs nearby that were worthwhile. We decided on Elephant and Castle, which I was all for because the name reminded me of the time I spent in London (and how can you go wrong with London?!?).
   
   
   
   Needless to say, it was INCREDIBLE. Mark and I both got Fuller's London Porter (mmm Porter) and spinach-artichoke dip to start. Then I had the best Shepherd's pie of my life. Seriously. Unreal.
   
   
   
   
   
   A little drink porn to satisfy the masses.
   
   
2.  After dinner our first night, we went to a blues bar named Buddy Guy's Legends. I have never had the pleasure of going to a blues bar, despite digging blues thoroughly, so I didn't know what to expect. Well, we walk in and there is a cover. I am totally cool with paying covers for a good show so I ask the bouncers who is playing. They respond: Nellie "The Tiger" Travis. For some reason, I assumed this performer was male. I was happily surprised that it was a fierce (sorry for the pun) black woman with a set of pipes and great stage presence!

The stage, the band and Buddy Guy's logo.        

Nellie "The Tiger" Travis. It's a shame I didn't get any pictures of the harmonica players or random dancing audience members. They were also highlights of the performance.      

Mark and I loving life at Buddy Guy's. (This was probably after the middle-aged PDA-fest couple in front of us left...otherwise, our faces would have been filled with digust.)       
  3.    So, Mark and I like food. If you didn't know that before, now you do. So highlight #3 was another restaurant and another meal. After a lot (A LOT) of walking between hostel #1 and hostel #2, we decided we deserved a break and some lunch. Mark and I have a knack for finding good hole-in-the-wall-type pubs or Irish-themed bars and day two of Chicago was no exception. Enter Buddy McGuire's on Division Street. I had an amazing Reuben (rivaled my own mother's) and Mark had his first Chicago-style hot dog.  

  No food/drink porn this time, just happy post-lunch faces.  
4.     Before stopping at Butch McGuire's, Mark and I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art. The museum itself was much smaller than I expected, without much of the permanent collection on display. HOWEVER, the Luc Tuymans show was, without question, one of the best exhibitions I've ever seen. Here are some highlights: 

        5.     On our final day in Chicago, Mark and I went to the Museum of Science and Industry. We mostly went because of the Jim Henson exhibit that is currently up, but also because we heard great things about this museum. Boy, were all the thing we heard true! This place was intense (and slightly overwhelming since it was a rainy Saturday), but it was definitely worthwhile! The Henson exhibition was incredible, but another highlight was the following:

 

TESLA COIL!!!

Well, I wish I had a better final thought, but due to crazy Blogger posting issues my frustration is insurmountable. I shall leave you with a serene picture of Lake Michigan, perhaps my favorite picture of the trip. Now back to reality...